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In the Beginning



I guess the best place to start would be the scare that sent me to the doctor's office over four years ago. I had noticed some wet spots on my shirt at home, but this is after doing dishes. Therefore, I wasn't sure if I was just messy or had issues with my right breast. Fast forward to while I was at work a couple days later and the same thing happened. My co-workers noticed and encouraged me to visit a doctor. Since I had not had a regular doctor check-up in at least 13 years, I chose to go ahead and get a complete physical.

Being a researcher of all things on google, I put in some of my symptoms and came up with Paget's of the breast. It all made since except for a few symptoms. I only researched the symptoms and not how it was diagnosed. I should have researched more.

When I brought up the nurse practitioner my issues with my breast (which at the time was just the leaking clear fluid), she said it was normal for women to have that happen at times. She told me to quit googling when I mentioned Paget's. She said it would only make my fears worse if I put in my symptoms into Google every time I got sick. I listened. Still concerned I got a mammogram appointment. I felt that would make my fears go away.

The nurse practitioner did call to make sure I made me a mammogram appointment, even though she said I didn't need one the day I saw her. I went to my first ever mammogram and it wasn't as bad as everyone described. I did fine. I went home and waited for my results in the mail. NEGATIVE. Great news, so I thought. It did relieve my fears though.

Later on that year, my right nipple started to change in appearance. Well, this made my fears come back for the Paget's again. So I made another mammogram appointment. NEGATIVE again. Whew, dodged that bullet. Maybe it was something women just go through. I do have dry skin all over, but not scaly in one spot like my nipple was. It progressed on to be red, scaly, and itchy.

Fast forward three plus more years (this includes nursing school and being a baby nurse).... I'm at the casino with my husband one night and I run to the bathroom for my routine potty break. I noticed a spot on my shirt thinking I spilled food on me again, cause I'm clumsy like that. After further investigation, it was blood from my right nipple. My bra had some soaked in and it leaked thru to my shirt. I went home and the next day (you guessed it), made me a mammogram appointment. I thought mammograms to be a the trusted thing for breast cancer detection. Not always true for every type of cancer.

While waiting on my appointment date, I did more research on good old Google. I put my symptoms back in and Paget's popped up again. This time though I had ALL the symptoms. I then researched further into how it was diagnosed and taken care of. I started crying when I saw it could only be detected with a biopsy. I could've kicked my own butt for not researching it more. Now I've got to convince another doctor or nurse practitioner about my fears of Paget's.

I went to the mammogram appointment and the desk clerk asked if I was having any breast issues and I explained them to her. She had to make sure they could still do the mammogram. We did it. The tech noted on my slides my issues of my right breast. They sent the results along with issues to my new nurse practitioner and her office called to make me an appointment for a breast ultrasound. While there for my ultrasound which was NEGATIVE, the breast doctor there saw my nipple and wanted a biopsy asap, as she feared it was Paget's (and I never mentioned the word).

Then the fears were pretty much confirmed for me. I knew the results in my mind and didn't know how to tell my family what was going on. Up until then only certain people at work were aware and none of my family knew anything. I got up the courage to call my mother on my way home from work. I immediately started crying and so did she, even though I never got anything out. I finally explained it all and headed home to sleep.

My biopsy day had arrived (9-6-18). I chose one of the surgeons that I work with. He's the best in my mind, so I had no worry with choosing. He said our worry was Paget's as I had no underlying lumps or issues. I can't say the biopsy went without pain. That "pain relieving" shot hurt like the dickens! My husband was there for this part of the journey.

Then I waited for a week for results......

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